Don't kill me, please

Weehoo, time to write.  I think for fun I should write about my deepest darkest secrets.  First, just joking I won't tell you anything.  Hahahaha, that stinks for you.  So instead i'll talk about school, school is fun.  Now about honors english, I can't believe all the stuff we have to do I mean I can't do it all, It just seems impossible.  Reading 2 very complex books or writing 2 things is hard.  First, I stink at writing.  I've never got over a 90 at writing and probably never will.  It's just something to think about, I have to write at least one of those things, and I probably will write a crappy report.  As for the books, I do like to read.  I cherish It as I would a full root beer can not opened.  Only A&W though,  it just tastes better.  Anyways, those 2 books are almost as hard as the Count of Monte Cristo, which took forever to finish.  My thoughts are that I will never finish and miserably fail the class and be forced down to my regular english class!  It's shocking, I know.  I mean,  just look at my fabulous writing skills, I never write anything just to finish the five hundred words, never.  Who could possibly accuse me of doing such a horrible, indescribably evil thing.  That would be the work of a cheapskate, I would never do that.  Still, It will be almost impossible to finish, if you've ever seen it, it looks impossible.  The Chosen, and Dandelion Wine, which is the only one I remember, are looking impossible to finish during this term.  Still, if he believes I can do it, it probably means that he thinks its impossible too, and I should give up.  If he doesn't, he's probably right and will make me want to complete the assignments to show how great I am.  So if you are reading this Mr.T, then make note of what I just said, I might be useful to what I might need you to do.  Well I just word checked, and there was about 350 words.  I think that was pretty good for right off the bat.  And now I'm looking at the side bar to measure how far 500 words is in a single paragraph.  So I can plan for the future.  Now, I already discussed how I'm going to fail Honor's english.  You've got that straight right?  I hope you do, now for my hobbies.  I like to kill people, break the law, and stab people and drop weapons of mass destruction.  Sorry, I was pretending to be Andrew Huogh, which I think is spelled right.  And if you don't know him and you go to Fairfield, you are sad and should be very depressed for not knowing who he his.  Shame on you.  And I just can't tell you about my hobbies.  That would be too revealing for public eyes and you might look at me like I'm crazy and try to kill me.  Please, DO NOT KILL ME!!!